Monday, December 1, 2014

Just a Little Bit

Hey everybody!  

As always, I want to send all my love to you all, and remind you all how much it means to me to get your emails here and there.  Mikaella, Nanny, Joy, Emma-Lee, Lizzie, Steph, Jessi, Blythe, Natalie, Alisse, Crys, Kailey, Camille.... I love you all, and thank you very much for all the different things you sent me this week.  It means the world.... Honestly.

Sigh.... Where to begin?

I guess I need to preface everything with a question. Or a couple, actually.  As you read these questions, I ask that you try to calm the thoughts in your head beforehand, and that you also read this with the best impersonation of my 'deep question/even if you aren't super involved, I am SUPER deep in this idea' voice in your head.  I am sure that you all know this said voice. I have used it many times with many of you.... And so, this is a moment where I am relaying this idea to each of you personally.

Do you realize what you are?

Do you realize WHO you are?

Do you realize WHY you are?

Yes, I acknowledge that these are rather vague questions.  But, as a missionary, I have learned a couple of things, both in regards to the questions themselves as well as the purpose of asking these questions.  I have learned more and more that yes and no questions do little for spiritual growth.... Unless, of course, they are the right questions.  And these are just a few that I believe are right questions.

So.... Here goes.

Do you realize what you are?  I don't think so.  Because if you did, you would be doing some things a little differently.  I am sure that automatically sounds like a call for repentance.... This is not entirely the case.  Because yes, if you realized what you were, you would probably change some bad habits and fix some things that need fixing, but the same goes in your benefit and defense.  If you realized what you are, you would understand how important it is to give yourself the benefit of the doubt, to trust yourself, and to LOVE yourself.  
As I was talking to a fellow missionary, we stumbled onto a little piece of philosophy, in my opinion. TOTALLY relatable to Screwtape Letters and an abundance of other literary works.  A statement that I think will answer this question for you.  The quote goes as follows: 
'How do you kill a god? The answer:  Before he becomes one.'  
My dear brothers and sisters (because that is truly what you are), You are a God in Embryo.  THAT is what you are.  You are currently in a testing period.  But quite literally, you have the attributes and qualities necessary to become like Him.

Do you realize who you are?  As I said before.... I don't think so.  Elder David A. Bednar said during a missionary conference once, 'if you have a string going from eternity in one direction to eternity in the other, and tie another single string in the middle... The area of the second tiny string on the infinity line measures the length of your existence on the earth compared to all that you have been and all that will be.'  
Take this literally.... There has been an eternity of PREPARING  for THIS life.  How can that be?  Because we fought a WAR where we lost a THIRD of our brothers and sisters.  We have fought valiently and learned and FINALLY reached this point to choose what really means the most.  And after this life, we have more eternities to live than we can comprehend.  That is the WORK and the GLORY of the Eternal, PERFECTED Father.  To bring to pass the (first) immortality and (second) eternal life of man.  Of US.  THAT IS HIS PURPOSE WITH US.  So Who are You?  
You are a Child of GOD.  Of someone who LIVES to BRING YOU BACK.  And yet somehow people still doubt that He cares or listens.... Guys, He WANTS you.  Not your time, or your talents.  HE WANTS YOU.  ALL of You.  Because He LOVES you and He KNOWS what you have set out to do, against ALL the Hell that rages on the earth as we speak.  Which brings me to the next, most important part.

Do you realize WHY You are?  I will tell you why.  Because as a missionary, I have already seen people change who they are because of the truth I am about to speak.  You Are That You Might Have Joy.  Because THAT is what God wants for you.  
But guess what?
We are all sinners.  And wickedness never was happiness.  So frankly... None of us have achieved the fullness of joy that we are capable of finding.  And how can we? Nothing unclean can live with God.  So.... We are all out of luck.  The love God has for us is not lessened by this truth.... But God works within laws - the Highest laws, granted - but laws nonetheless.  And this is part of it.  We can't go back as long as we are imperfect.  

Now imagine.... This great dilemma, that you realized long before this life.  When you were living with God, and he revealed this great plan.  You have aready suffered great loss of loved ones following that cunning plan of the adversary, but you have stayed strong.  YOU WERE THERE, with so many others, and God Himself reveals the great plan.  That we will be able to come here, live, learn and return someone better.  Imagine the JOY that you felt! You WERE there!  In that infinity before your string, you were there.  But then, the eternal dilemma.  
Life is a chance to learn.  And thus.... We will make mistakes.  And so, in that moment, you realized... You can't come back.  You are going to fight a battle you WILL NOT win.  It is totally hopeless.... There's a block with no resolve. We are damned to never return to the arms of Him that lives to love us.

And then a man steps forward.  No ordinary man.... This man is God.  Preordained as such, this man will live a perfect life.  The only one who can.  The only one who would.  The only one who could return to the Father.  

And He turns to the Father and reveals that He has something to offer. Something, that through mercy, the demands of the laws of God's justice could be satisfied.  

Jesus offered Himself.  Not His time, or His talents.  Jesus gave all of Himself.  So much so, that even in His perfected body, the prints of His love for us even now remain in his hands and feet.

And That is Why You Are.

I do not have a lot of time to re-read and edit my letters, So I am not entirely sure if I managed to convey the message I feel I need to.  This is a first draft. Nothing but the words of my soul as I felt them.  What I need you all to realize, is that You are so much more than you realize.  You don't know your divine purpose. But maybe you understand a little bit better now....  And what I want to share, more than anything, is my wordless gratitude for my Lord and Saviour.  Because ONLY through Him can we fulfill this divine purpose.  I Love my Saviour. I know He loves me.  I am here in Honduras because of that gift that he so willingly gave to someone as undeserving as me.  I know that He knows each of you.  The next time you doubt the love of God, Remember that the signs of the love He has is still with him.  Yes, He loves You.  Stop questioning it and start doing something about it.

I do not think I can adequately describe my testimony of Him through an email... But I needed to try.  I thank all of you for your support and love.  Remember who you are.  And more importantly, remember why you are.  I love you.

Elder Huff

Song of the week - Brace Me Up from Saturday's Warrior