It is a great day here in Honduras,
and sadly I don't have much to report for the week cause I got hit with
something bad in the stomach - so I was pretty much out cold the
majority of this week. And then my kid got it too. So then he was in
bed for a little while too.
But it's getting
better! That's what is most important. ;D Sometimes, little things
like that come and you just - kind of have to deal with it! But I
actually learned an interesting lesson this week because of it, even if
it was just a little personal revelation, as small as it was.
I
don't claim to be the best missionary - I know I'm not. But I am not
one who doesn't want to be out working, either. I don't like being
inside when I know that there's people that need my help, and the ONLY
time I will not be outside during the day is if... well.... I'm
sleeping. And the only time we sleep here during the day whilst on the
mission is.... when you're sick. And you don't want to do anything
else. So... That's pretty much what happened this week. Now, what I
learned, though, is this:
AGENCY IS REAL.
I
don't mean to say that 'if you truly have faith, it doesn't matter if
you're sick, you work anyway!' Faith without works is dead - and if I
have faith I'll get better, I should probably put that faith to work and
get the rest necessary so that you can get out ASAP. Better than drag
the sickness out for like, 2 months (right, Mom?). And here's what I
learned about agency this week: depending on how you use your agency,
you'll see the consequences come, but you are not able to choose said
consequences. They just come. So, you can choose when you want to push
yourself, but you cannot choose what happens to you because you pushed
yourself. The principle of agency really is a simple one, but I want to
reveal a little of an idea that I had.
The
ONLY way that we can truly be instruments in God's hands, is by giving
our agency back to Him. I'm CERTAIN you've heard that before. BUT,
that doesn't mean just go through the checklist of things He's laid out
(although in most cases, that list won't lead you astray), but rather
that you must take part in an ACTIVE ask and receive process of
communication with God. THAT is what it means to give our agency to
God. There are times, for instance, when we're sick, when things NEED
to get done. God knows that. Here in the mission, for example, I'm
pretty sure that God knows that there's people that need to hear. But,
giving your agency to God DOES NOT mean getting up and going to work all
day anyway, when you won't be able to teach effectively because you
feel so crappy you can't focus. That seems pretty OPPOSITE of what God
would say. But it doesn't mean just going to bed every time you feel
under the weather either. What giving your agency to God means, is
ASKING Him what it is He needs for you in that moment. It might mean
get a blessing, get up and work. Many missionaries can testify that
such occurrences have passed. It might also mean take a couple of days
to get back together - maybe God has a plan for what's happened and can
use that time to prepare people for when you can go out again.
It's
a delicate line that only God Himself knows - But He's ready and
willing to tell us everything. All we have to do is ask. He listens.
And most importantly, He Answers.
I love you
all, and you're all in my prayers. Stay Strong always, and know that
God is with you. May we all learn to depend more on the Lord every
day. I LOVE YOU ALL ONCE AGAIN.
Elder Kristian Huff
Song of the week: We're Just People by Madilyn Page
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