IT HAS SERIOUSLY BEEN A WEEK!!!

HELLO MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS IN AMERICA! It has been a FABULOUS week here in Danli Honduras and I have lots to tell!!!! 

FIRST shoutouts.... Emily, Blythe (is there anything you CAN'T do girl???), Steph, Jess, Lizzie, Lara (AND GIRLS you keep kicking trash.  Your big brother is rooting for ya ALWAYS!), Emma-Lee, Assael (I miss you babe. What more can I say?), Nanny and a short little snippet last week from Ellie.  I love you all, and as always, you remain in my prayers!  For those working on You Can't Take it With You, SHATTER YOUR FEMURS.  And... Thank you all for the birthday wishes. I'm lookng forward to Noche de Brujas. Though.... Here in Honduras they don't celebrate it much. It brings bad juju or something. So.... By those who know my birthday, I am now the bruja. Which means witch. So... That's cool.

OKAY NOW THE BIG STUFF. 

First, this week was filled with moments of calling some people out.  When I first got here, I thought it would be hard to not give money to those in need. Okay.... EVERYONE asks for money JUST because we represent Jesus. So that actually bugs me more than anything.  

Now, two examples of things I called out this week.

1.  This guy follwed me and my comp (on splits) continually asking for money. 'Solamente viente limps, mormon, viente limps.' Finally, when he pulled 'Jesus would give me money', I turned and said 'NO, Jesus would give you OPPORTUNITY, my friend. We are not giving you money, I am sorry. If you want a message, we can provide.'  And... he left.  I could analyze, but really... Just Liken the story to our lives and what all that could be symbolic of.

2.  There was this group of kids late one night.  And when I walked by on the way to an appointment, they started cussing in english. like... BAD words. Specifically, the F word strewn through other vulgar statements that I know they don't know the meaning of.  So... on the way back from the appointment, they were still there.  This is not entirely uncommon, but I was in a good mood. So... As i passed the turn, one (probably 12 year old) loudly announced, terribly pronunicated, 'HEY WHAT THE F GRINGO.'  And.... I had enough. I turned around, pointed at him with what felt like the finger of God and in clear ENGLISH stated 'You WATCH your mouth.'  The kid and his friends stop dead.  One of the others, weakly and pathetically goes '...ummm F?' I walk toward them with FIRE in my chest and, in english, give them a lecture like I can't remember.  They look at me like deer in headlights.  I ask, 'understand, my brothers?' in spanish. They say no. So, in spanish, I some up my thoughts in this statement - 'If you don't speak the language, don't use words you don't understand with someone who does.' I then left them in complete silence. I passed them again the other day. Not a word.

So... That was pretty intense.  Pretty fun actually.  But I feel that I should explain the reason for my outburst. This appointment that I mentioned was a pretty special occasion...

Nazareth Peralta (18), Dayani Galo (12).

Two more baptisms baby.  And my moment with those kids was before and after the beautiful service.  I had the opportunity to baptize Nazareth, and my comp baptized Dayani. Incredible, as the first.  I think I am only beginning to understand how precious this first covenant is.... But either way, that was amazing, and the reason I wasn't willing to listen to badly pronounced curse words that day.

So.... this week was great.  I also want to share a bit of a funny and terrifying story.

So.... I hate spiders. Yeah yeah, I'm a man, that's girly, it's just a little spider, oh I've heard it all.  And this week, during a three hour long service project for one family in my area, my comp and I heard this several times in playful jest. But... Here's the twist... 't's just a little spider' TOTALLY applies to american spiders.

People.

The project was moving hundreds of heavy panels for roofing. And in between every 5 panels or so... Were these spiders...

Look at your hand.

Now imagine having 8 fingers, covered in hair, and the ability to leap clean over a human.

YEAH. A WHOLE LOT OF THOSE.

......

....In a nutshell, I overcame my fear of spiders this week. And, if I was, I am no longer afraid of cockroaches.  Or snakes.  Or frogs. Or really every kind of evil giant bug possible.  I mean, people... these things, in a matter of seconds, would climb up your arms, up your legs, surprise leap at you, and really just bring the demons of hell to life in front of your eyes.

No big deal.

And, on a side note, at this same appointment, I got strangely good at using a machete....

....Totally unrelated...

.........

Actually totally related cuz I FREAKING MURDERED THOSE SPAWNS OF SATAN WITH THAT SHINY BLADE AND I DON'T FEEL AN OUNCE OF REGRET. YOU SICK LITTLE DEMONS CAN BURN WITH YOUR MAKER.

So... That was also a little exciting. But, on a good note, now my future wife can rest assured that I can be the man of the house when it comes to bugs. And yes... even spiders.

Love you all. In the words of my comp...

'Hey. Don't have dream about dose spiders tonight in chore bed or anything. Love chew.'

Until next week.

Elder Kristian 'The-Freaking-Demon-Spider-Killing-Machine' Ooof

Song of the Week - Carry On by Fun